Sunday, May 29, 2005

It's been a while

Nothing will ever be the same again.

Since there has been tremendous changes in my life lately, I have decided to put down all my blogs for the time being, as I think I have got enough troubles in life and I do not have enough time to actually put on any post in my blog anymore at the moment.

For those who had been hoping that I put down my blog, I hope they'll feel better that way, and for those who goes to my blog once in a while, I am sorry but I just have to do this. I might be coming back, or I might not.. I do not know..

Having my cousin walked away just like that is something I had never expected. Who would have thought someone would leave at such an early age? He's only 25, which is like only 2 years elder than me and now he's totally gone for eternity. Life is just too short.. sigh.

Everything seems to turn from bad to worse. I do not know what else I can do.. could anyone please help?

Why is he so insecure, when I have passion and love him? He forgotten that I love him? He must have caught amnesia...

I am tired of explaining anything else to anyone anymore. Since no one believes whatever heck that I said, so why bother to explain?

Dear God, please show me what I should do? Please give me guidance and forgive me for all the sins I have done.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Ronda-ronda Trip....

01/05/2005 - Sunday (Labour Day)

Xinni planned this wonderful ronda-ronda trip around Kampar, Kuala Kangsar, Ipoh & Bidor. While, Vijay offered to let us stay overnight at his new condo in Ipoh. Thanks guys!

We're suppose to meet up at Xinni's house in Cheras at about 9am. But you know lar, it's Sunday and everyone's fashinably late =P~ In the end, all of us met up at Xinni's house at about 10am. Then, we when to Steven's Corner to have breakfast. There we met up with Vijay and Mei Han.

After some roti canais, we filled up our petrol tanks at the nearest petrol station and we zoomed straight to Kampar.

Car 1 - (Vijay, Mei Han, Kavi)
Car 2 - (Michael, Lauren, Lai Peng)
Car 3 - (DKBU, Neeraj, Xinni)

I thought its would be a long journey. Turned out it was a short drive (2 hours plus) because both the passengers (Neeraj & Xinni) in my car was having a stimulating discussion. What's the stimulating discussion all about, you might ask. It's for us to know and for you to find out... =P~

We arrived at Kampar about noon. Just in time for lunch. We had the lou shue fun, the green drink (some kind of grass), the fish balls and fried fish cake. Ooo... it's all so yummy =P~

Lou Shue Fun

The green drink "Yummm Senggg!"

Fried fish cake

After lunch, we took some photos of the Old SB Rex Cinema and drop by CB to buy some biscuits. I'm still wondering what does CB stands for. So we had a game on guessing what CB stands for. Here is what we came up with - China Biscuits, China Boy, Cute Babe, Cruel Bastard, etc...

Old SB Rex Cinema

CB Biscuit Shop

After all that, we continued our journey to Xinni's hometown in Kuala Kangsar. The drive was slow because after all the food, everyone's tired and sleeping... hehe... We met Xinni's parent. They're nice people and they brought us to makan-makan in a Malay hawker centre. There we tried the cendol, laksa, rojak, etc.

After food, we took a stroll in the park behind the hawker centre. We took some pictures of park, boats, bridges, tanks, etc.

Park behind the Malay hawker centre


Famous Bridge (Err... forgotten the name =P)

Warning Signboard

Old Tank

Neeraj showing off his gymnastic skills

After that we drop by the Masjid Ubudiah and Istana to take some pictures. And we also drop by the city to take a photo of a jet plane. Weird lar, putting a jet there =P

Masjid Ubudiah

Jet plane

After all the photo sessions, we headed back to Ipoh to Vijay's condo. The drive was interesting - lotsa twist and turns and mostly down hill. Woo hoo... Kinda felt like Takumi driving downhill from the Initial D anime. We finally arrived at Vijay's condo about 7:00pm. Walaueh, the apartment is huge! Anyways, some of us rested while the others went for swimming in condo pool while is quite huge.

After everyone have recharged, we went over to a hawker centre in Ipoh. We tried their chu cheong fun, seafood, hor fun, white coffee, etc. We were all busy eating and suddenly Neeraj got a crab shell stuck in his throat. Haiya, no need eat so fast lar man... We got some chee cheong fun and we asked him to swallow it all down. Phew, luckily the crab shell went down, if not gonna visit the hospital.

We were busy eating... no time to take pics =P~

After that, we went over to Lou Wong Taugeh Ayam Kuetiaw for their famous taugeh, chicken and hor fun. But before that, since everyone was so full, we went to the shop behind Lou Wong to do some shopping. I bought some Ipoh White Coffee and The Butterfly Heong Peah as recommended by Lai Peng (Note: Haiyo, should have bought more, it's so delicious). After shopping, we went for their pasar malam (night market). Didn't really buy anything, just walk and see =D After all the walking, we were ready to eat again. We met Tim (Michael's friend) who drop by after attending a wedding dinner nearby the area.

We all went to Lou Wong to try out their stuffs. The taugeh was fat and juicy and the the kuetiaw soup was one of the best I've tried. Yum yum.... *Burps* Also, it's amazing to see Michael finish everything for us because we were too full. For his skinny body type, he can really eat! What an eye opener! =P~

After the nice supper, the rest went back to Vijay's apartment while a few of us went driving around looking for 7-11 to buy some stuffs. Haiya, it's damm hard to find the bloody 7-11 =X After we bought our stuffs, we also headed back to Vijay's condo.

Fat juicy taugeh

Lou Wong (Photo blur lar)

Arriving at Vijay's condo and after a delicious supper, we're gonna burn some fat and do some yoga aka we played 'Twister'.

Twister consist of a mat with circles and colours and a spinning wheel. Firstly, we have to spin the wheel and the wheel will tell us what to do. For example, if the needle lands on right hand on the blue circle, then you put your right hand on the blue circle. If you fall, you're out of the game. It seems easy at first but will get very complicated later in the game. Phew what a great work out game!

After twister, we played Taboo! I won't go into details on how to play this game. But there were some funny phrase like 'A Orange Pussy'. What are you guys thinking about? It's Garfield lar... =P


After Twister and Taboo!, all of us was tired and we went to bed. Err... because there was not enough bed, most of us slept on the floor.

02/05/2005 - Monday (Holiday)

All of us woke quite early and got ready for some Ipoh dim sum. We headed over to Ming Court Hong Kong Dim Sum. We reached there about 8am but there's already so many people eating already. It's full house and the business is really really good! I tell you, we have to stand next to a table to pressure those people to eat faster. Wahaha... that's fun =P~

Ming Court Hong Kong Dim Sum

Finally after waiting about 20 mins, it's our turn to eat while others stand next to our table to eat. Hehe... Initially we ordered enough dim sum. But to our surprise, every dim sum we ordered have double layer. Woah... now we have 2 times the dim sum. So everyone eat as much dim sum as they can lar. The dim sum was really yummy~ and one of the best dim sums I've tried. As usual, we cannot finish everything, so we see Michael sapu everything again lar. After he finished everything, we asked for the bill. To my surprise, the bill was around RM100+ That's really cheap! If we to eat that much of dim sum in KL, it would have cost us double or triple the price.

The Yummy Dim Sums

Michael sapued everything

After a big breakfast, we decided to walk around the Ipoh town. We went over to a shop that sold this chicken wrapped in paper and heated using salt. Some of us ordered it. Nah, I didn't order it. So full jor, still wanna order meh? They say they wanna tapao. After that we jalan-jalan around some more.

Cooking the chicken wrapped with paper and it's heated using salt

3R for 20 cents - That's cheap!

To Run Business - I don't get the meaning

Later, we walked to the best tau fu far shop in town where they make the best tau fu far. Unfortunately, they are just openning and have to wait for 1 and half hours for them to cook the tau fu far. Because we have to rush for time, we didn't wait. We headed back to our cars and we went to see the Pamelo girls.

Best tau fu far shop

I've been hearing a lot of stories from Stupe about these Pamelo Girls. When our cars arrive, all stay out in front of their stalls ala Army style. And they're not pretty also =P Stupe, what so special about them? After buying some pameloes, we headed off to Lata Kinjang waterfall. We had a fun time playing in the water =)

The Pamelo Girls

Buying Pameloes

We arrived at Lata Kinjang an hour later. Walau, so many cars around lar. Luckily there was a few more space available. After parking our cars, we changed and hike up to the waterfall. The waterfall is really big and nice.

Sign Board

Welcome to Lata Kinjang

Check out the T-shirts

T-shirts from another shop

Children having a fun day at the waterfall

Lata Kinjang Pic 1

Lata Kinjang Pic 2

Lata Kinjang Pic 3

After the playing in the water for a while, we were hungry and headed to Bidor for some delicious Duck Mee. *Slurps Slurps*

Duck Mee - *Burps* So nice until finish already only take pic =P~

After some lunch, we headed back to KL. There were some jams in the highway. Luckily it was not all the way. Just some parts of the highway. Reached home safely at about 6pm. After a short while, Andrew called for dinner.

We had steamboat and BBQ ala all you can eat at Restoran Talipon with Andrew, Eleena, Wendy, Kyle and Mervin. That's a funny name for a restaurant - Telephone Restaurant. Hmm... I don't see them serving telephones??? Lolz... Anyways, it's nice seeing Wendy being promoted doing pretty well. After dinner, we left about 9pm. Went back home and straight to dreamland... zzZZzzzZZZ...

Restoran Talipon

Steamboat and BBQ at Restoran Talipon

What a weekend! Food, food food all the way =P~~~ Would do it again but not anytime soon. Gotta go to the gym to burn off all those delicious foods first!

Here I wanna thank Xinni and Vijay again for organizing this fun and enjoyable ronda-ronda trip! You guys rock!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

She's gone...

Anyways, I've been writing this for awhile. It's kinda difficult to write this stuff you know. But today is her 100th day leaving us. So here's the story...

I'm sure many of you already know this by now. My grandmother passed away peacefully at her home (Sg. Chua, Kajang) on 17/02/2005 Thursday (9th day of CNY also The New Year for the Hokkiens) at about 3:00pm. She was 82. She died of 'heart failure'. Don't get the wrong ideas here... it's not heart attack lar. The doctor said that 'heart failure' was the technical term they use. In fact it's the slowing down of her heart.

12/02/2005 - Saturday (4th day of CNY)

We had a CNY dinner at Fortuna Restaurant with 'yee sang' and 8 course meal. We had about 3 tables with the the whole family - uncles, aunties, cousins, father, mother, brother, sister, grandfather and grandmother. The atmosphere of the dinner was a very happy and a lively one. We lou yee sang, we ate, we laughed, we took lots of pics, we caught with latest stories, etc.

Our grandmother's face looked very red (probably sick?) but she insisted on attending the CNY dinner because being with the family is the most important to her. Glad she went and she was very happy. We all had a great time there. But, this dinner turned out to be the last dinner we had with our beloved grandmother and it's the last time I saw her before she passed away.

13/02/2005 - Sunday (5th day of CNY)

Nothing much happen on this day.

14/02/2005 - Monday (6th day of CNY, also Valentine's Day)

My grandmother said she has difficulty breathing. We rushed her to the hospital and the doctor and nurses did some medical checks on her. All the medical checks gave negative result. Since everything was fine, the doctor allowed my grandmother to go home. And so we brought her back.

15/02/2005 - Tuesday (7th day of CNY, also Yan Yat aka People's Day)

Nothing much happenned today. Had a 'yee sang' dinner with my parents and a uncle's family staying in PJ.

16/02/2005 - Wednesday (8th day of CNY)

My grandmother was having breathing problems again. To make matters worse, she was weak and fell two times. This time, it's worse and rushed her to the hospital by ambulance.

The doctor checked on her again. This time the doctor said the heart was slowing down and she will be transfered to the heart department. And since her condition have not improved, she was later transfered to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit).

17/02/2005 - Thursday (9th day of CNY, also The New Year for Hokkiens)

My parents came home from the hospital about 3:00 am. Then the hospital rang up an hour later and informed my parents to go to the hospital. The doctor informed that she is very weak and old (she's 82) and they can't perform any surgery on her. Later, the doctor told us he had done his best and will not last till the end of the day.

Since she was not very conscious, and after a long discussion, all the brothers and sisters decided to bring her back home. (She did inform us that she would like to pass away in the house long long time ago). After all the procedure, we brought grandmother home using ambulance and with some oxygen tanks, ECG and other equipments. Then, my father called me to go back to Sg. Chua to see my grandmother for the last time.

So I left work, and I was rushing home from work to fetch my brother and sister to see my grandmother for the last time. But it was too late already, when I reached home, my father called that grandmother has already passed away (about 3:00pm). She passed away peacefully on her bed after arriving at her house about 10 minutes. And oh yeah, she died smiling. (A lot of people said that it's a blessing when a person dies smiling).

My brother, my sister and I rushed home to Sg. Chua and the atmosphere was sombre. It's a sad, sad, sad day for us all. Everyone was weeping. Eventhough grandfather looked strong and didn't cry in front of us, I know he is crying in his heart and the saddest person in the family. And I will always remember this day. And the wheather was kinda funny - it's a sunny and hot day in the morning and afternoon. And in the evening it rained and stopped about 3 times. Kinda like the God is also weeping 3 times.

Also when we arrived, they already engaged undertaker services. Since, our grandparents are a very respected couple in the small village of Sg. Chua, we tried to make as grand as possible. Overall their service is quite fast except for the tent they built. It took so long. We also had a newspaper annuoncement in one of the Chinese dailies.

Later when the casket arrived, the undertakers took grandmother's body and put it into the casket with dry ice and we are not suppose to look while they are doing that because it will bring bad luck to us. After that, we 'jong heong' (put josstick) and prayed for her. Later we started folding and burning paper money for her (I was wondering will she receive it but this is Chinese tradition, just follow lo, don't ask so much! =X) This burning of paper money, the josstick and candle will continue to burn non-stop until the day of the buriel.

Folding paper money? Haven't fold before lar. Hmm... there's a few shapes and the harder shapes mean more money. And after a few tries, folding paper money was easy. Practice make perfect =) Oh yeah, we were on vegetarian food until the day of the buriel.

By this time also, I started to SMS people regarding my grandmother's death because I was going to have a party at my house on 19/02/2005 Saturday and invited quite a number of friends. Guys, thanks for replying back with your comforting messages.

About 3:00 am, I went back to PJ while other family members continued burning and folding. We have to pack our stuffs because we would be sleeping in Sg. Chua for the next few days. Went to bed about 4 plus.

18/02/2005 - Friday (10th day of CNY)

It's the same thing again. Continue to fold and burn. A lot of people and relatives (that I've never seen before) come over to pay their last respect and give donations (pak kam).

In the afternoon, we started prayers (da zhai). You have to do alot of praying and kneeling. It's long and I don't even know what the hell is the master (who's leading the prayers) are talking about. Some funny kind of language. Just follow only lar...

Prayers ended about 12 midnight. After some clean up. I'm off to bed, err i mean the floor. There was not enough bed around so most of us slept on the floor.

19/02/2005 - Saturday (11th day of CNY)

Continued prayers. People and relatives coming and giving their last respect giving donations. Flowers starts to arrive in a bunch.

In the evening, the master performed some acrobatic stuns. Then later we burned a bungalow, a mercedes car, a driver, a butler, a maid, astro, mahjong, cigarettes, plenty of clothes, tonnes of gold, and lots lots more (all made of paper). We burned all these at the park behind the house. It created a big ball of fire and we felt the heat eventhough we were standing quite far from it. After burning has complete, we went to sleep.

20/02/2005 - Sunday (12th day of CNY)

It was the windiest day of all days. We were preparing the neccessary stuff because today grandmother would be burried at the Nilai Memorial Park. After awhile, the music band arrives in style. Walau... the music they played damm rock lar... after some rock tunes, they started to play all those sad songs like 'Mama Hau' and others. Everyone started to shed tears and I never had so much tears rolling down my eyes before. Then all of the family assembled to see grandmother for the last time before they close the coffin. They put all the neccesary stuffs inside and sealed the coffin with super glue.

Then they brought the coffin outside for some prayers. We wiped the coffin with water and money (after-life bank notes). Wah! If real, that's gonna be so expensive. We not only wipe one or two times. Everyone wipe at least more than 10 times. Then we have all the guest and relatives pay their last last respect.

After all that, they carried the coffin into the van and ready to go. We walked for about 1 km and then the bus picked us up. We reached the Nilai Memorial Park an hour later.

Reaching there, we prayed to the gods there and we have a drink and light lunch. After lunch, about 12:30pm we arrived at the burial site. At about 1 pm (good time according to the master) the coffin was lowered into the hole and we gave our last bow and grab some soil and throw it onto the coffin and walked away without looking back.

After all that, we got onto the bus and got back to Sg. Chua. We have another prayer and later change into red clothes and wear cogs (wooden slippers). Then we started hanging red cloth on top of the door. And we have a feast! Isn't that ironic? Our grandmother just pass away and we are having a some sort of party. Well, the master say, after the burial, it's a happy moment, we must do all these. Well that's tradition. The master also mentioned that we have to leave for before 6pm. So after taking a long rest, we packed our bags and went home.

06/04/2005 - Wednesday

We had the 49th day prayers.

16/05/2005 - Monday morning (Teacher's Day)

Grandmother's tomb is ready. And the whole family have assemble and welcome her to a new home. We had so many stuffs there. The prayers was short, within 2 hours. The master thrown us some changs for good luck. We ate some of the stuff we brought. Finally, we even burn firecrackers before leaving!

26/05/2005 - Thursday

The 100th day our grandmother left us...

About my grandmother:

You know, my grandmother is very happenning person. She likes to smoke Salem and gamble ginrami. The food she cooks is absolutely delicious. She likes people to be around her. She likes to throw parties for her grandchildren. She likes to tell grandmother stories. Some are very educational and some are really funny. Like stealing techniques - During Chinese New Year, she was sharing with us how people steal from the market during the old times. Some of the techniques can really 'laff sei ngo'. One of the technique:

At the morning market

Customer : Hei, how much is this cabbages of vegetables?
Vege seller : RM 5.00
Customer : Okay! Please pack the cabbages and I'll be back in a minute.
Vege seller : Okay!

After five minutes

Customer : Hei where's my veges.
Vege seller : Here you go.
Customer : Hei where's the change?
Vege seller : What change?
Customer : I gave you RM50 just now what.
Vege seller : Really ar?
Customer : Yalor! You some more say my veges RM5 only.
Vege seller : Err... ya meh... here's your change RM45. (The vege seller got confused because there was too much people buy veges on that day)
Customer : Thanks, bye.

She's smart! Really smart! She can even do maths in her head eventhough she didn't receive any formal education. She's well travelled. She's hardworking. She's funny. She's everything! We'll really really miss you pohpoh!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Pulau Perhentian...

The two Perhentian Islands are rated as some of the most beautiful islands in the world... a virtual paradise for snorkelling and diving in crystal-clear water or just for lazing on one of the white sandy beaches waiting for the coconuts to drop...

Pulau Perhentian is located in the South China Sea 25 km from the coast of Kuala Besut. It consists of two islands, Pulau Perhentian Besar and Pulau Perhentian Kecil. Both islands are surrounded by beautiful palm-fringed sandy beaches andcrystal-clear turquoise-blue sea.

All manner of aquatic life is visible both near and far from the beach such as turtles, sharks, coral and thousands of tropical fish. The interior is covered by jungle with a wide variety of species. You can watch monitor lizards, monkeys, geckos, flying squirrels, butterflies and many other types - sometimes right in front of your chalet. There are no roads and not many paths, so the islands are mainly peaceful and untouched - so far.

In fact, Tom from tomsjalanjalan will be coordinating a trip to Pulau Perhentian in June. Have already confirmed to go for this trip. Will also be going for the PADI Open Water Course (Scuba Diving First Level). Come join us. It'll be great fun!

Tom's the man! Going on a trip with Tom will never be boring. He's always got some nice stories to tell and you can learn so much from him. Anyways, here's the message from Tom:


For those who are keen to explore Perhentian's sun and the sea....

Date : 03.06.2005 - 05.06.2005

Activity : PADI Open Water Course (3D2N), Leisure Dive (3D2N), Snorkel & Relax (3D2N)

Cost : PADI O/W RM1,040.00 , Leisure dive RM680.00 and snorkel trips RM320.00

Trip costs inclusive of :-

- return ferry, twin sharing fan chalet, full board food (2B,2L,1D & 1 BBQ)
- OW diver includes full course, pool training in KL & full dive gear
- Leisure diver includes full dive gear & 6 boat dives
- Snorkel includes full snorkel gear, 1 boat snorkel trip to Tanjung Basi, Shark Point & snorkel with turtles and shore snorkel

Add : RM15.00 for TJJ Activity Fees (non TJJ members pay RM25.00)

Coordinator : Tom ( or 012-2918883 after 7pm)


Kindly confirm ASAP! Space is limited! Can't wait to get out from the hustle and bustle KL city! See you guys! Have a great week ahead!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Imagine this...

Hi guys, thanks for the birthday wishes. Have been busy with some stuffs. Will post up the report on Ronda-ronda Ipoh and Sungai Congkak trip very soon. Meanwhile, below is a nice story for you all...


Imagine this...

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading...






This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect hance to pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Birthday people for this weekend:

May 7 - Zulisnita Aneida, Tan Su Wen, Sri Ganesh
May 8 - Christopher Kwok Yick Fung, Liew Siew Chu, Ah Cheong, Onn Yen Yen & myself

Wishing you guys all the best and may all your wishes and dreams come true! Smile always and be happy!

Also, not forgetting all the mother's around the world. Happy Mother's Day!

Going to Sungai Congkak for camping this afternoon. See you guys later! Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Once in 7000 years...

New years come and go... but today is a special day, because 05.05.05 comes only once in 1000 years and coinciding with Thursday (5th Day of the week) comes once in 7000 yrs It happens only once in our lifetime. later will be 05.05.05. 5:55pm. Wishing you a wonderful day!


Karen Lim, thanks for the early bday card =P Yeah, my bday is coming soon *hint hint* Hmm... I should come up with a wishlist... hehe... Received a card from the dentist too, but it's a reminder to visit him =P~

/// Edited on 05/05/2005 nite ///

Went for the WTYS (Windows To Your Soul) Project meeting with the Rotaractors at KL Central today. It's fundraising project in aid for vision care (Spectacles & Surgery) of underprivileged children with the collaboration of the Tun Hussein Onn National Eye Hospital (THONEH) and Malaysian Association for the Blind (MAB).

You know the funny thing, just before meeting up with the rotaractors, when I just entered KL Central, I saw this blind man walking with a stick. He was using the stick to feel his way around. He was at the opposite of me. As I was walking nearer to him, he bump into some clothes at the stalls. I was gonna help him, but he just gave the sweetest smile and just walk off.

Wow! That had made my day lar... After a hectic day and travelling here and there just to see that smile was well worth it! I think, it's the simple things that make us happy like seeing people smile and not people with a grumpy face. So guys, sit back and give people a smile! ;)

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Many a true word

Many a true word, simple but ...

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a Laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit and die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.....

31. Never lick a steak knife

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails)

38. Your friends love you anyway.

39. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.